Riding the Ghost Train

Overhead, the plastic banner crackles in the evening breeze, advertising, "Nouveau! Train Fantome - SPOOKY". We're at Luna Parc, a traveling amusement park that sets up near Guérande in July and August, looking for all the world like some misplaced cutting of American culture that's been broken off and dropped wholesale into the French countryside without any alteration.

But that isn't entirely true, as it turns out. You see, French "county fairs" aren't quite like US fairs... They're better.

Our car starts forward with a lurch and the carnie man gives us a doleful, "Au Revoir" as we bump open the doors leading into darkness. We're the only ones on the ride ... It's early yet, the fair doesn't open until 9pm and we arrived at 8:30, accustomed to US fairs that run all day. Lights flash in the dark and strange monsters appear, lunging at us half-glimpsed from every shadowy corner. The car jerks and twists, speeding us around the tight black maze. Beasties keep flashing up in a constant stream, barely lit and timed to the flickering strobe, when we round a corner and my eye catches sight of something odd. Yes! Yes, that's no mechanical thingie, that's a man! I have only a second to realize this as a black-garbed figure melts out of a corner shadow behind us. There's a yell and we both jump - a glowing green face is trailing our car. We laugh and turn away, but a few seconds later Emily squeals again as green fingers wriggle in her hair. Something grabs my shoulder and I jump, twirling around to see that our ghoul is happily chasing our car and flapping his painted fingers at the backs of our heads and necks. He pursues us past a couple of motorized monsters before finally giving it up, and we burst out into the evening sunset blinking and laughing.

A few minutes later, we realize we've been touched, a very strange experience. When I watched Amelie, I'd assumed the fairground ghost scene was purposefully overdone, drawn as surreal as the rest of the film, but we've just had an encounter nearly as physical. This would never have happened in the US, where any physical contact during a ride would almost certainly generate one of two responses:

"Aiii! He touched me! I can't believe he touched me! I'll sue! I'll sue for distress - I'll bankrupt this carnival!!"

...or...

"Shee-it, that sumbitch just laid his hands on me, I'm gonna hafta go whup his ass now!"

But the French aren't as litigious as Americans - A Frenchman who trips and breaks his nose is more likely to make a joke of it to tell his family than to sue the sidewalk construction company for negligence. And they're certainly not as violent. These traits benefit an amusement park in some very fun ways...... The rides are longer, MUCH more dramatic and scary/rough/wild, and you can buy malt whiskey at the concession booths if you really want to test your projectile-vomiting range on the rollercoaster. We got lost in the multi-level mirror maze for about a half hour, bumping our way through the mix of glass panes and reflections and strobe lights and sudden near-darkness until we finally emerged nearly as freaked and dizzy as Miss Foley in "Something Wicked This Way Comes" (Possibly the best 'autumn fair' movie ever....)

There was one odd loss - they have cotton candy, candied apples, and of course chi-chi's, but there were no caramel apples in sight. A curious ommision, considering the French passion for all things caramel. Are caramel apples another puzzling non-entity in France, or was it just this one fair that lacked them?

I will close by posting a selection of photos from the fair, but first I wanted to mention two local cafés of note. In my last article, "Beware the Murky Frogpits", I was pretty (deservedly) harsh on the rather dank and nasty village cafés scattered all around here, that supposedly serve as local "fast food", but there are exceptions. The pirate café by the Barrage (dam) d'Arzal was great fun, with a young staff who greeted us on entry and a waiter who turned up promptly and actually smiled . The decor was fun, the food was good, and overall it was a drastic improvement over our usual "village café" experiences. Another nice spot for a semi-fast bite is Herbignac's own "Bar Roseau", a tavern that doubles as a tasty sandwich shop. It does tend to have a bit of the "locals staring like frozen guppies" effect, but it's minimal by comparison. Now, on to the pics!


This is the three-story Funhouse, filled with all manner of bizarre devices including a top-to-bottom spiral tube slide, huge whirling grabbers that will sieze you and fling you through what resembles a car wash buffer, and many other semi-lethal tricks and traps that would never be allowed in NC because, well, "somebody would get sued"....


Emily becomes, on her very first try, the only human being I have ever known who actually won something from one of those fairground "pick up" machines. And she got a Nemo, no less!


I'll sign off of this blog entry from the front of the Mirror Maze, snacking on my chi-chi's. A bientot!